There you are, minding your own business, maybe rearranging your living room for the 47th time, maybe panic-cleaning your inventory, maybe just trying on hair demos you’ll never buy, when suddenly you realise… someone is popping up a little too often. They IM exactly when you log in. They “coincidentally” land in the same region you’re exploring. They appear in your house like some kind of budget-friendly paranormal activity.
Congratulations. You’ve acquired a stalker. Not the IRL terrifying kind but the uniquely Second Life flavour of awkward, clingy, boundary-ignoring weirdness.
Before you fake your own virtual death or flee to a secret alt living in a skybox above Zindra, take a deep breath. You can handle this. And you can even handle it with a little flair.
Know Thy Enemy (or at least recognise the species)
Not all stalkers are equal. Some are just clueless raw potatoes. Others are fully cooked.
Meet the classics:
The “I Just Teleported Nearby” Wanderer
Always “accidentally” showing up where you are.
Statistically impossible. But here we are.
The IM Octopus
Eight arms, 37 messages, zero sense of boundaries.
Goes from “hi” to “HELLOOO???” in under 50 seconds.
The Profile Archaeologist
Knows your rez day, your partner’s rez day, your favourite hair brand, and your 2014 picks.
The Home-Intruding Ninja
Slips into your parcel like a particularly nosy ghost.
A master of “I didn’t know this was your land!”
The Alt Hydra
Cut one account off, two more appear.
Feels like a boss fight, because it is.
Now that you’ve identified what flavour of nonsense you’re dealing with, you can pick your weapons.
Close the Castle Gates
Your Second Life settings are basically your moat, drawbridge, and trebuchet all in one. Quietly fortify. Turn off the “show me online” option for everyone except your actual friends. Also, remove your home location from your picks in your profile, and your favourite clubs and hangouts, so you’re not broadcasting your whereabouts like a courier package.
If they keep showing up on your lawn like a malfunctioning NPC, take back control. Land bans exist for a reason. So do security orbs. Second Life even lets you toss someone out of your skybox with more force than a cat pushing a vase off a shelf.
Let the system do the heavy lifting. You’re the landlord of your own virtual kingdom, start evicting.
Block Like You Mean It
Blocking is not rude. Blocking is the skincare routine of your soul. It exfoliates the creeps.
Once you realise someone’s behaviour is bothering you, you don’t owe them a TED talk about boundaries. You just hit block. Boom. Peace restored.
Yes, they might come back on an alt. Yes, you might block that one too. Eventually, they get bored or run out of email addresses. Either way, your sanity wins.
Don’t Feed the Troll
If there’s one thing you absolutely should NOT do, it’s engage. Don’t argue. Don’t explain. Don’t send the classic “I’m not interested, sorry, I hope you understand” message. They won’t understand.
The more you talk, the more you teach them that pushing gets a response. Ghosting isn’t rude here, it’s your power move. Think of silence as a 100% effective repellent spray.
And while we’re talking about not engaging, here’s another big temptation to resist: going wild on social media, forums, Discord or group chats to “warn others,” call them out, or tell the whole dramatic saga. It feels satisfying in the moment, but it turns your stalker situation into performative fodder, and can drag you into more drama than you started with.
Also, please don’t make a profile pick titled “Beware of [Name]!!!” with lots of unicode text and a skull emoji. Besides being a bit tacky, it just invites arguments, counter-arguments, and more attention from the very person you’re trying to get rid of. Silence works. Public spectacle rarely does.
When Necessary, Hit That Report Button
There’s a difference between “annoying” and “persistent harassment,” and you’ll feel it when it crosses the line. If someone keeps stalking you across regions, bypassing blocks, or spamming you, it’s time to let Linden Lab handle it.
Reports work, especially when it’s a pattern. You don’t need to craft a legal essay. Just explain what happened. Attach proof if you have it.
Keep Your Sanity Intact
Even though this is “just a game,” feeling stalked in any environment is unsettling. So give yourself permission to log off, hang in a private space, or switch to an alt for some quiet exploring. Talk to friends if it helps; most long-term residents have a stalker story or seven. You won’t get judged; you’ll probably get sympathy and a glass of virtual wine.
The most important reminder: you have done nothing wrong. Someone else failed to understand boundaries, and that’s not yours to fix.
A Final Word
You deserve to enjoy Second Life without someone following you around like an overexcited parrot. A stalker doesn’t get to steal your peace, not in your home, not on your land, and definitely not in a virtual world where you can kick them out with a single click.
You’re not powerless here. You’ve got ban lines, block buttons, and a sense of humour.
They’ve got… well… poor social skills.
And in Second Life, that’s more than enough to tip the scales in your favour.
