Being Dutch in Second Life: Weed, Windmills, and WTF

There’s something about having “Dutch” anywhere in your profile that activates a special kind of Second Life energy. The kind where people feel wildly compelled to share their gap-year love story from 2003, ask if you live inside a windmill, or casually assume you’re stoned out of your mind at all times.

It starts innocently enough. I am exploring a region, minding my own business, still rezzing from the ankles up, when a stranger IMs me with: “OMG you’re Dutch?! I love Copenhagen!”

Which is lovely… except that’s Denmark.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m used to it. I don’t get mad, but I have heard every weed joke, every comment about how “tall” all Dutch girls are (spoiler: we come in many sizes, just like mesh bodies), and every awkward attempt at flirtation based entirely on tulips, liberal policies, and misremembered backpacking trips.

The Stereotype Checklist:

✔️ Asked about Amsterdam, including the Red Light District?
✔️ Clogs?
✔️ Weed jokes?
✔️ Confused with Denmark?
✔️ Sexual innuendo involving water management?

Bonus points if they ask if I know “Bart from Rotterdam”.

Yes, I’m Dutch. Yes, I like stroopwafels and cheese. No, I don’t want to talk about your trip to Amsterdam, where you got so high you forgot your middle name.

And then there are these…:

Pick-Up Lines That Need to Be Erased from Chatlogs, Dutch Edition

Some of these have been directed at me. Others I’ve heard in the wild. All of them deserve jail time.

“I see you’re Dutch… I love Amsterdam! Do you smoke a lot of weed?”
Yes, and right now I’m high on disappointment.

“You’re Dutch? I love the story about the little boy who put his finger in the dyke… hehehe 😉”
Ah, innuendo and 19th-century American fiction, truly a timeless combo.

“You’re Dutch? Say something dirty… in Dutch!”
Okay: belastingformulier. (It means “tax form.” You’re welcome.)

“I’ve always wanted a Dutch girl. You people are so free.”
My freedom includes the freedom to mute you.

“You’re from The Netherlands? That explains why you’re so open-minded ;)”
It’s not open-mindedness. It’s pure, unfiltered Dutch bluntness. Want a review of your profile?

Of course, it’s not just the Dutch who get this kind of treatment. Second Life has a proud tradition of casually stereotyping everyone. Whether you’re Brazilian, German, French, American, Australian, or from a country someone in local chat can’t find on a map, chances are you’ve been turned into someone’s travel story, language coach, or cultural tour guide without consent.

So here’s a wild idea: instead of making assumptions, just say hello like a normal avatar. Trust me, it’s way more attractive than yelling “bonjour” and asking someone if they own a baguette.

And now I am going to listen to a Dutch classic that never gets old, because I like to party like it’s 1986!