Help! My 5 Besties Turned Out To Be Just One Person!
It’s a normal day in Second Life. You’re teleporting around, petting someone’s animesh corgi, when suddenly the horrifying realisation dawns: Bob the DJ, SexyKitten93, VampireLordX, YogaMom4Life, and that suspiciously quiet elf who always hovers around your photo shoots… are all the same person.
Yes, you’ve been living through the social version of The Truman Show, except with more lag and fewer paychecks. Congratulations, you’ve stumbled straight into The Clone Wars.
But don’t uninstall yet. Here are four survival strategies for when your five closest confidants turn out to be… one very tired typist with a serious identity hobby.
1. Host the Great Alt Summit of 2025
Send them all an invite to hang out together. Watch in awe as one person attempts to juggle five IM windows, three group chats, and at least two different accents. It’s like Cirque du Soleil, but instead of acrobatics, it’s just sweaty alt-switching and suspiciously long “AFK” breaks.
2. Interrogate Like Sherlock, Not Scooby
Ask them questions only a true friend would know. Example: “What colour was I wearing at that wedding we crashed in 2023?” If all five avatars type different answers, you’ve struck alt-gold. Bonus: one of them will always say “brb” just as the questioning gets intense. Classic.
3. Make It Your Side Hustle
Why waste good drama? Turn your discovery into a full-fledged Second Life talk show: “One Human, Five Avatars.” Sell tickets, stream it, and hand out popcorn. Imagine the ratings when SexyKitten93 continues as YogaMom4Life mid-sentence because the typist hit the wrong IM box. Cha-ching!
4. Lean Into It: Adopt the Alt Family
Instead of losing one friend, consider that you’ve gained five very consistent ones. They’ll always be online (technically), they’ll never betray each other (awkward), and you can finally host a dinner party where all the guests laugh at the same jokes… at the exact same time. Efficiency!
And honestly, sometimes an alt is just… an alt. No evil schemes, no drama, no secret plot to crash your wedding photos. I even wrote about five times an alt wasn’t actually trying to ruin your day, and trust me, it happens more often than you think.
So Now What?
Yes, finding out your social circle is really just one very determined keyboard warrior can feel like a betrayal. But it’s also peak Second Life: surreal, messy, and slightly hilarious. People create alts for all sorts of reasons—curiosity, roleplay, experimentation, or just because they can.
So if it happens to you, don’t panic. Laugh, roll with the weirdness, and remember: whether you’re chatting with Bob, SexyKitten93, or VampireLordX, you’re still talking to the same person who made you smile in the first place. The pixels may multiply, but the friendship, strangely enough, can still remain real.
Or, unfriend them all, block, mute and move on. Whatever makes you feel good!
Disclaimer: Any resemblance to real avatars, living or endlessly AFK, is purely coincidental. Side effects of reading may include paranoia, sudden bursts of laughter, and the urge to check your friend list twice.
