There are many things I absolutely love about Second Life, and after all these years I have somehow managed to build up an inventory that contains enough clothes, furniture, accessories and completely unnecessary decorative objects to furnish several houses, dress several avatars and probably open a small department store in a region nobody has heard of. And yet, despite having all these possibilities literally sitting there waiting for me, there are a few things I absolutely adore doing in Second Life that I hardly ever actually get around to doing.

Which is, when you think about it, a very Second Life problem. We have unlimited possibilities, unlimited outfits, unlimited places to go and, theoretically, unlimited time. And somehow I still spend an evening standing around in the same outfit wondering where the evening went. 

So here are three things I really love doing in Second Life, but apparently have decided to experience only on special occasions, during planetary alignments, or when the universe personally sends me an appointment reminder.

💃 The Ballgown Fantasy

I love going dancing in Second Life. Properly dancing, preferably somewhere beautiful, slightly over the top and far more romantic than anything I would ever tolerate in real life. Give me an elegant ballroom, beautiful surroundings, romantic music and a reason to wear an outrageously fancy gown and I am absolutely there.

The problem is that when I actually go dancing, I tend to end up in clubs playing rock, disco, punk, techno, alternative music, or basically anything where there is a reasonable chance that somebody will suddenly shout something enthusiastic about the DJ. And I love that too. I have absolutely no objection to dancing to loud music while wearing something that suggests I might have arrived straight from a questionable nightclub in 1987.

But somewhere in my inventory there is a small army of ballgowns patiently waiting for their moment.

There are dresses with elegant skirts, sparkling details, dramatic sleeves, sophisticated fabrics and enough material to make several curtains, and I own them all with the optimistic belief that one day I will put one on, find a classy ballroom and spend an entire evening being the elegant, mysterious woman I clearly was born to be.

Instead, I usually end up in a club wearing something considerably less formal, dancing to rock while thinking, Oh yes, I really should wear that blue gown sometime.

I have been saying “sometime” for approximately eighteen years.

And the worst part is that when I do occasionally put on one of those gowns and go somewhere suitably fancy, I absolutely love it. I remember why I bought it in the first place and wonder why I don’t do this more often.

Then I go back to the club in my skimpy outfit. Because apparently I am my own worst dress code.

🏡 The Great Home Transformation That Never Happens

I also love decorating my Second Life homes, although I use the term “decorating” rather generously.

Of course I do it. I rez a new cupboard. I replace a chair. I move a plant to the left and then stare at it for ten minutes wondering whether this has improved the room. Occasionally I buy something new because clearly the solution to a room that doesn’t quite feel right is always another piece of furniture.

But what I really want to do is completely transform one of my homes. Not just move a sofa.

I mean a proper transformation where I decide that this is it, this house is getting an entirely new look, and I throw out the imaginary interior-design rulebook and start again. New furniture, new colours, new lighting, new atmosphere, new everything.

I can already picture myself doing it.

I would choose a theme, spend hours collecting the perfect pieces, carefully arrange everything, fiddle endlessly with the lighting and eventually produce one of those homes where every corner looks like it belongs in a beautiful Second Life photography blog.

Unfortunately, there is one tiny obstacle. Me.

Because halfway through the process I get distracted. Perhaps I visit a region. Perhaps I see a piece of furniture I absolutely need. Perhaps I suddenly decide I should take photographs. Perhaps I open my inventory looking for one particular object and, three hours later, I am wearing a completely different outfit and have no idea what I was originally searching for.

And sometimes it isn’t even distraction. Sometimes I simply don’t have the inspiration.I look at the house, look at the furniture and think, Yes. This could be amazing.

And then I do absolutely nothing about it.
So my homes evolve in a simple manner, which is to say that a new chair appears, a plant moves, a cupboard gets replaced and I pretend this counts as an interior renovation.

I am not saying my homes need a complete makeover. I am merely saying that somewhere inside me there is an interior designer screaming for freedom while I casually rez another plant.

The plant, naturally, is very pleased with itself.

🧚 The Fantasy Life I Keep Forgetting to Live

And then there is fantasy.

Oh, I love fantasy outfits. I love the elaborate dresses, the magical accessories, the crowns, wings, horns, jewellery, weapons, flowing fabrics, impossible hairstyles and all the wonderfully excessive things that make absolutely no sense whatsoever and are therefore perfect for Second Life.

Give me a fantasy theme and I am interested.

I can spend ages looking at fantasy clothing and thinking about what I could create with it. I love putting together a look that isn’t simply “Caitlin, but with different shoes”, but something completely new. A fairy, an elf, a mysterious forest creature, an overly dramatic sorceress, a woman who clearly has several centuries of backstory that she refuses to explain at parties.

And then, somehow, I never seem to do it.

I don’t mean putting together an outfit for a quick photograph. I mean spending an entire Second Life day completely indulging myself in the fantasy of it, finding the outfit, adding the accessories, finding the perfect location, setting the environment, taking ridiculous amounts of photographs and generally disappearing into another little universe for several hours.

I love doing that. I just apparently need someone to remind me that I am allowed to. Because somehow fantasy has become an annual subscription service in my Second Life. Once a year, Fantasy Faire arrives and suddenly I remember.

Suddenly I am wandering around in elaborate fantasy outfits, visiting magical places, taking pictures, getting excited about accessories and thinking, Why don’t I do this all the time?

And then Fantasy Faire ends. And so does my fantasy career.

Back to normal clothes, normal places and normal amounts of pretending that I am not currently wearing something that would make absolutely no sense whatsoever outside Second Life.

Which is a shame, really, because there is something wonderfully liberating about dressing up simply because you can, without needing an event, a reason, a theme or somebody else telling you that this is the appropriate moment to become an elf.

Maybe I don’t need an occasion. Maybe the occasion is simply Tuesday.

✨ Perhaps I Need to Stop Waiting for an Occasion

The funny thing is that all three of these things have exactly the same problem.

I love them. I genuinely enjoy them. I have the clothes, the furniture, the accessories and the imagination sitting there waiting for me.

And yet I somehow keep waiting for the right moment.

The right dance event. The right inspiration. The right photography idea. The right theme. The right day when I magically have several uninterrupted hours to do absolutely nothing productive except play dress-up and rearrange virtual furniture.

Which is rather ridiculous when you think about it, because Second Life is supposed to be the place where we don’t have to wait for the right moment.

There is no reason I can’t put on a ballgown on a random Wednesday and go dancing somewhere romantic. There is no reason I can’t completely redecorate one of my homes just because I suddenly fancy living somewhere different. There is certainly no rule saying fantasy outfits are only permitted during Fantasy Faire.

Perhaps I need to make the occasion.

Although knowing me, I will put on the ballgown, redecorate the house, dress as a fantasy elf and then immediately get distracted by a new region I want to visit. Because apparently the biggest fantasy in my Second Life is the idea that I will ever stay focused on one thing for an entire afternoon.

But oh well, I wouldn’t have it any other way.