Stop.Reset.Breathe – A reply-post

My friend Beth has gone through a rough Second Life summer and today she posted an article on her blog, explaining why she has reset her Second Life past and purged her Flickr, virtually erasing a couple of months.

Elysion - Distillery Dia De Los Muertes - I

I think we, Second Life residents, can relate to that. Second Life is, for most, not just a Barbie and dress-up playground, but a true second ‘life‘. It sure is to me. While I admit that playing the dress-up and all is something I really enjoy, I do understand Beth’s emotional roller-coaster when it comes to relationships, be it romantically or not. Been there, done it, got the mesh-shirt. Haven’t we all? Like many others in Second Life, I have had the immense joy of finding a soulmate and also the grief and pain of losing them, for all kind of reasons. Did I erase and purge my past? No I have never done that. I have unfriended and got unfriended. I’ve deleted some dedicated albums on Flickr (but never the pics themselves), I have never removed blog-posts.
Nothing compares to you...

Do I look at said pics and posts? Nope, some are too painful still, but they are out I posted them and they represent me and my past.
I have loved and I have lost. I cherish  the memories by now, and also cannot bear to look at some pictures and other online statements made at that time. One day I might. Or maybe never.
The thing is, those memories..the visual proof of experiences that were absolutely awesome and the good times, I would not want to erase them. Even though times changed, loves and friendships have vaporized and are gone, there were real.
I refuse to regret past and gone loves and friendships, no matter why or how they ended.

Date night

Love and friends happened and they were wonderful,  deleting the pictures and/or blogs would hurt me as much as the actual break ups. I keep them online, but try not to dwell over them. In some cases I will never look at them again. Moving on is another thing.

It happens. It happened. It was good and then it wasn’t.


5 Comments Add yours

  1. bethmacbain says:

    I love you for this and I absolutely understand your point of view, too… which is why I didn’t actually delete anything, I just removed them from public view. The photos are still there, the blog posts are safe in my drafts folder… but they aren’t available for the world to view.

    Not to mention, while I’m usually not reticent about expressing my opinions, in this matter expressing my views got me a lot of hateful IMs and I had to balance whether or not speaking out was worth the hassle I was getting. I’ve been called all the Very Bad Words, and though that just confirms that I was right to get away, i’ts just not worth the ongoing harassment in this particular case.

    If I want to get back to enjoying my Second Life, I have to put all that negativity behind me. :-)

    *huge hugs*

  2. Dymoon says:

    a long time member of the community, I do believe that we all have growing pains, in one way or another. We do find friends that last, and we do have moments that will never happen again. Cait has really spoken truths, we can have incredible unbelievable connections in virtual that cannot happen anywhere else. Where else can two energies, meet, and connect without out all the trappings of RL. People who believe that their avatars are apart from who they really are, fool only themselves. Everyone has a heart,and whether we want to believe it or not.. when someone enters are private personal world, we learn, we grown and we blossom.

  3. neybahblog says:

    You really spoke my words in your post, Caitlin. I really feel the same way about that. As everyone, I have many SL memories, maybe not so much online as yours (before my blog – lol), maybe more private, in a PC folder where pictures of SL people and me are preserved, telling my story here. Sometimes I can still some pain watching some of them, but I try to smile, and as you said, to move on, the only possible thing. Being aware, as Dymoon said up here, that everything – really everything – is helping me to grown and blossom.. big hugs

  4. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not.. You said this better than i could Caitlin, and my heart goes out to those who choose directions for the best for reasons that do not or cannot work, BUT and yes there is a but here, BUT Life is like a passion fruit until you have bitten its flesh what do you know? and then of course, it is too late. . I said before SFFS and as much as people don`t like me, for so many reasons, I will continue to be the person I am and hold the same moral ground That Beth and You do , I do not delete posts, pictures or thoughts,however, misguided they may appear, The reasoning is simple really it`s who i am .. :love and sparkles . in this trying time and please remember I am around if you ever need my shoulder.. Rose Brightflame.

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