New Year parties? Never liked them all that much, if I’m honest. All that standing around waiting for an arbitrary moment of time to arrive and trying to find things to talk about with friends of friends you’ll later on in the year cross the street to avoid talking to. No thanks. Give me TV coverage of the London fireworks any day.

But this year, it’s different.

This year, we not only need to open the back door to let the old year out, we need to do so with a hardened boot firmly in its backside, and if it’s pouring down with rain outside then so much the better.

And we need to welcome in the new year with open arms, beaming smiles and warm words of encouragement – but not before it sees what we did to 2020 first. “Come in! Come in!” we…