While I am usually not opinionated in my blogposts, I enjoy my exploring and randoms posts a lot and always think I should leave my deeper thoughts out of the public – a series of rather unpleasant events and a blogpost by Becky on the aggressiveness she regularly encounters when it comes to asking visitors to her sim to follow the dress-codes, I have given it some thought and so here I am.

As a Second Life Explorer I visit many, many sims. The first thing I do upon arrival is check for house-, sim or other rules. Most places offer a notecard and if not, I look in the land information for guidelines or the regions convenant. For me a matter of routine, I do not only use this information in my blogposts about the destination, but it also makes it easier for me to walk around freely and blend in, for a more immersive experience.

And also a big part: the sheer fun of getting dressed into a theme, specially when it is something I am not used to (SciFi or historical are always a fun challenge for me). Besides my own fun of getting dressed up, it is also a way to show respect to the sim owners who pay (real) money to keep their place up and running and as a guest it is just the right thing to do.

When not exploring, I have a few social events per week I love to attend. There is the weekly party in Elysion on Saturday – which always has a theme and dressing according to the weekly theme is mandatory to attend.
The owner of Elysion always puts a lot of effort in decorating the venue and once a theme is announced (usually on Flickr, but also in group notice), the groupchat will be filled with people asking for tips and LM’s for an outfit – and everyone gets excited. It adds to the sense of community.

But there are, amazingly, always people showing up completely out of theme. The other week the theme was Cherry Blossom festival and Syn had created a gorgeous Japanese style garden. Almost everyone, and those parties are busy!, looked amazing. Almost everyone. It always baffles me to see, as last week, people arriving in jeans, trainers, bikini’s or latex catsuits.
Why? There is really no reason to not know the theme. And even if you managed to miss the theme of the week, it only takes a minute once you are rezzed to look around and see what is it….!

How difficult is it to either switch outfit on the spot, if you happen to have one suitable in your list, or just leave for a bit and get an outfit. Or. Just leave and skip the party?

In my daily Second Life, when in and around my home, I am often dressed up in full fantasy outfits, often including some katana or bows and arrows. Because I like it and because I can.
I have a lot of outfits ready, named and sorted on occasions with a short description that makes perfect sense to me – so in case I get an invitation to go dancing in, let’s say Franks (haha, like that happens, but I like to be prepared!), it will take me all about one push on the button of an outfit called: ‘Dance – Formal – Pink Evies Closet – Blonde hair’. I know exactly what that look is, and I am from fierce, axe-swinging, tattoed warrior transformed into a lovely, sweet looking lady in a gown and on high heels.
The only thing I need to change manually is, are the colours of the tips of my elf ears, but that is really done in less than 20 seconds.

I am sure I am not revealing some new feature in Second Life and I am not the only one who can magically change outfits in a few seconds.

‘In response to asking people to adhere to dress codes, I have been called – and I quote: a “stupid cunt”, a “fascist”, a “pretentious snob”, and a “worthless bitch”. I have been subject to abusive rants in IM, local chat and group chat – even days after the incident. Some protesters have said that my venue – Basilique – is a “worthless shithole” and that it should “be banned from Second Life”.’  – from Becky’s blogpost

If you are so anti dress codes and insist on wearing what you like at all times and are a so-called ‘my own person’, an often heard reason for not following any rules ‘I am my own person’, mhm sure you are, so am I.
By all means: go to places where you can indeed come and go as you are and nobody gives a sh*t about your looks. There are many, many places in Second Life where you can dress, or not at all, to your liking and nobody will say a thing.
But to go out of your way to start name-calling in groupchats, IM’s and on blogs, leaving in a huff and rant wherever you think people take you serious, I do not see the point.

Those people, and I have seen the ridiculous rants (often in CAPS and with so many spelling and grammatical errors I almost got offended that even their insults are not proper!), make themselves look like fools. And they do it all by themselves. Being their own person.
I am all for ones own identity and style. I think I have my own, sometimes odd, style too. Yet, I manage to dress up for Cocktail, Club, Formal etc, without losing my identity and not even my style.

The shouting, the abuse, the incredible sense of entitlement, please let’s not do that. Just don’t.

“You don’t win a game by hitting the ball out of the court.”
― Carlos Ruiz Zafón, The Angel’s Game